The Square Peg

I am writing this from a hotel room in North Carolina. Moose and I are on our way to Virginia for an awards ceremony. We took off this morning and will be home in a few days. Before we left, Tasha said that while she hoped nothing weird would happen, she did hope I’d find something ‘blog worthy’ to write about while I was gone. So far, I have the following blog-fodder to share with you:

We left the house around 8:30ish. By the time we:
1) filled up the car with gas,
2) got coffee at the Starbucks inside Kroger instead of our regular favorite stand alone store because Kroger was within the ‘errand group vicinity’ and would save us a little time, mileage, and gas,
3) ran into the bank to close our local accounts so we wouldn’t be charged another fee for accounts we don’t use anymore,
4 & 5) went to get breakfast & say good-bye to Drewby,
6, 7, and 8) got about 5 or 6 miles down the road before we realized the camera was still sitting on the charger in the house, turned around to go get it and got back on the road…

it was 11. And what we saved by getting our coffee from Kroger got wiped out by numbers 6, 7 and 8. We weren’t in any particular hurry (don’t have to be there until tomorrow) but geez, Louise, the day just felt really long.

We stopped to eat lunch at Western Sizzlin. Boys and girls, can you say “Fashion Faux Pas Capital of the South“? I am not even kidding you. I think everybody in that place had bad hair, bad teeth, wore overalls, too much make up, or a combination of all of the aforementioned faux pas. Or is it faux pases? Faux pi? ??? Somebody please tell me what the plural form of faux pas is! I don’t know; I’m not French! I swear I thought I entered the redneck twilight zone. And the music! Oh. My. Word. It was slap awful. Old, annoying, psychedelic, whiney, shrill; you name it, they played it. Moose and I stood out like sore thumbs. For one thing, we were dressed appropriately (khaki shorts, t-shirt & flip flops for him; yellow tank top–which matched my yellow toe nail polish thank-you-very-much, blue jeans shorts and sandals for me. For another, we didn’t know ANY of the words to the songs they played. They did…and they were tapping their toes and singing along.

We checked into our hotel (Holiday Inn Express), did a little shopping at an outlet (didn’t buy anything), browsed around Target (again, we bought nada), and had a late dinner. I think our waitress was the gal that played Half Pint in Little House on the Prairie. Hey, don’t judge; the economy SUCKS!

We were almost finished with dinner when Tasha called my phone. Now before I go any further, you have to know that when I leave the house I always remind Drew about 3 (or 10) times that he has to watch Zoe carefully if she’s not locked up because she will get into stuff. She is, after all, still a puppy. I never tell Tasha anything more than once because she pays attention the first time and heeds my warnings and instructions. But today she must’ve gotten distracted by something sparkly which caused her to momentarily forget the one thing I repeat so often, I probably mumble it in my sleep: you have to keep an eye on Zoe. You should also know that my 3 (or 10) reminders to watch Zoe annoy Drew. Eh, you probably guessed that already.

Anyway…
It seems I will need to get a new spool of thread to replace the new spool of thread I bought for a sewing project. Tasha said the CSI team is still investigating how Zoe acquired it, but the ME’s (medical examiner) report stated it only took Zoe a few minutes to completely and utterly obliterate 36 yards of 100% cotton thread. It sounds like the start of a bad joke, doesn’t it? “How long does it take a puppy to kill a spool of thread?” Ha ha ha

You wanna know what’s really funny? It’s funny how Tasha was hoping I’d have something blog worthy to share and ended up being the material for said blog. Way to participate and not just spectate, Tashy! wOOt!

Will staying at the Holiday Inn Express make Brian eligible to perform surgery tomorrow like they advertise in the commercials? “No, I’m not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”

Is the pillow inside the pillowcase that has “firm” written on it REALLY firm or is that just a marketing ploy to make me think it’s firm? And what's up with hotel drapes always being so ugly, regardless of the color, style, and swankiness of the hotel? Is there a rule about this type of thing? If so, how do we change that? Where are the Hotel Decor Police when you need them? Will tomorrow’s part of the trip bring more bad fashion? GASP! Will Moose wear socks and sandals without my noticing?!

Will the lunch people from Western Sizzlin read this blog and see the evil of their ways? Will they buy new wardrobes?

Or will they stalk and capture me, forcing me to wear overalls and let the polish on my toes flake off slowly as I’m tied to a chair and made to listen to bad music until my ears emit tears?

Tune in again to find out…same blog url, same blog BS.
The Square Peg would like to thank our sponsor, Tasha. Without her support, there might not have been a blog post today. We appreciate her generosity and will buy her Starbucks coffee (or tea) when we return home in hopes that she won’t pull her sponsorship from our program.