I work in a flooring store and a couple of customers came in today. The wife asked me how much our carpet costs. She wasn't asking about a particular kind of carpet, but she was standing near a display so I walked over to check the price tag on the rack she was standing next to. I leaned over to look at the tag when I smelled it. It wasn't the smell of cigarettes, but I couldn't put my finger on it right at first. Then it hit me.
It was weed.
After I quoted the price on the tag, the husband made an attempt to speak. When I raised up and looked at him, I could tell he was flying at an altitude way higher than the rest of us. He had a little bit of brown iris and an itty bitty pupil mixed in with the bloodshot in his eyes and he was having a some trouble holding himself up. And then he tried to speak again. It wasn't working very well. He kept doing this thing where he puckered his lips out but then drew them back in farther than normal and real quickly so he looked like he was chewing food, only he had no food in his mouth.
This is how the next few minutes went down:
Him: "Baby, how big you thank our libin' room is?"
Her: "I don't know; what fo?"
Him: "So we know how much carpet to git."
Her: "I done tole you, baby, we ain't doing the livin' room firs; we doin' the betroom."
Him: "No, baby, we said we doin' the libin' room."
Her: *moving her neck and pointer finger in the shape of the letter "z" but not in the same direction as each other* "No, we DID-INT; we said we doin' the betroom, and ats what we gone do."
Him: "Well, OK, tell her how big you thank the betroom is."
Her: *turning to me* "It's big enough to fit a king size bed in it."
Me: "Hmm, I'm not sure that's enough detail. It would be best if you measured and brought the numbers in to the store because carpet has to be laid so that it runs in the same direction. And if there's a closet in the room that needs carpet, we'd need to factor that in as well."
Her: "Well, OK, den. We'll come back."
Him: *as they're turning toward the door, he points outside the window* This is where I noticed that his little problem holding himself up had grown to a much larger issue. He looked like a buoy in the ocean bobbing back and forth. "How much is the blahblah outside?"
Me: "The what?"
Him: "The plahplah". (I can tell the word starts with a "p" but I'm not sure if it's "pillow", "panel", or "pallet". We had two pallets of panels sitting outside next to the steps though, so I presumed he meant them.
Me: "Oh, the pallets? Well, the prices vary, but there should be a sign on there. Let's go out and check."
Me again: *pointing to the big sign with large black letters on it* "It's $3.19 a square foot."
Him: "Hmmm, that's pretty low." *Compared to him, everything was low.*
Her: (she's standing at the car by this time, getting ready to get in the driver's seat) "Come on, baby, we got to go."
Him: "I'm comin', baby." To me he says, "we be back later to look at the plahplah again."
Me: "Sounds great. Thanks for stopping by. Be sure to bring your bedroom measurements with you."
Him: "blahblah OK. blahyou"
Working with the public is so strangely entertaining sometimes.
When I heard that Lowe's was advertising their sale on "family trees", my first thought was that they were trees for homosexual couples. You know, because gays refer to other gays as 'family'? And my second thought was "What makes it a family tree? Are the needles rainbow colored?"
I am not even kidding.
Has anybody ever been stunned by your humility?
Well, THAT was interesting...
I walked back into my office with my papers in hand from the printer upstairs. I sat down in my chair and heard my jeans rip. Yeah, from the top of the butt straight down to my upper thigh. I sat for a second basking in the unbeliev-ability of this situation. I know that's not a real word but I call it that because this is the SECOND time I've had a pair of Levi's split—and both split in the same place! Of course, last time I didn't know they ripped until AFTER I got home from church (where I usually sit on the front row) and Drew asked me about 'em. Come to think of it, I'm not sure which situation is more embarrassing…anyway…
I decided today would NOT be the day my co-workers saw my boo-tay, so I quickly grabbed my purse with one hand and slung it over my shoulder, and used my other hand to pull the back of my sweater down as I oh-so-gracefully cascaded out of the office and into my truck.
And it wasn't even 9 o'clock yet.
I hope this is not an indication of how the rest of my day is going to go.
Signing off now to check my calendar to see if I have time to shopping for jeans tonight.
Wish me luck...
God's got a plan for your life and the level of sacrifice is different for the man (or woman) of God than for the Sunday Christian. If you want to be a man of God you have to allow people to speak into your life as an authority figure. Learn from someone in the next 5 years what you need to continue the race rather than learning alone in the next 20. Take what God has given you, dotting your I's and crossing your T's. Be faithful. God doesn't need another weekend warrior. As Momma Joyce says: "You've got to go through to get through because there are no drive-thru breakthroughs."
You can be powerful or pitiful but you can't be both at the same time. There's no room in your hands for a sword and shield if you're sucking your thumb & clutching your blankie.
I was having lunch the other day with a couple of business associates. We were talking about college football and the conversation turned to Peyton Manning. We were commenting on his TV commercials, his appearance as host of Saturday Night Live, and of course, his football career. And then 'C' said something that has resonated with me ever since. He said the main thing he likes about Peyton is that Peyton loves the sport of football, represents it well, and "he'll protect the sport".
I never thought about protecting football. I mean, come on, it's football. Is it important to protect the game? What does it look like when it isn't protected? And then a few folks who haven't represented certain sports, companies, or institutions very well came to mind.
And that got me wondering...what things are we a part of, and do we protect them? We join and participate in organizations throughout our lives: companies, fraternities, sororities, clubs, professional associations...marriages; and we usually do so without giving enough thought to protecting them.
Do you protect the integrity of the teams you're on?
Father's Day Attack at the Moose Lodge
The attack began around 12:45 pm; that's when Moose walked through the kitchen door from the garage. As he put the bags of groceries on the counter, he noticed something was out of place. The sight of a single can of shaving cream on a piece of paper in the living room doorway floor caught his eye. He leaned slightly forward to read the sign. There were 3 lines.
"Pappy, Happy Father's Day. I'm apologizing in advance."
Then without any warning, the boys launched their vicious attack (OK, well it wasn't really vicious, but I'm going for effect here). The two young padawons pounced on him at almost the same time. Warrior cries could be heard throughout the house as they descended into the kitchen, gel shaving cream was flying toward its intended target faster than a speeding bullet. There was yelling (of the girly sounding variety) as their startled father realized he was being ambushed. Shrieks of laughter and excitement could be heard from the living room as Tasha watched from a safe distance. The chocolate lab grabbed her favorite tennis ball and stood nearby in case one of the humans wanted to play with her when the war was over.
The stunned Moose just stood there in disbelief. He'd just been creamed--menthol style. His favorite orange Tennessee Volunteers shirt was now covered in white shaving cream. So were his glasses. And his arms...and head. Suddenly the noise became muffled. Shaving cream was in his ears and it was impairing his hearing. The boys continued to "honor" and celebrate their father as they dressed him in a new mummy-like wrap.
The kitchen floor was squeaky clean under the fallen shaving cream areas. The men each retreated to a bathroom to shower. All of them still had shaving cream in their ears after the shower & had to go back to get the rest out. It was a father's day to be remembered.
*My sources tell me retaliation will be swift and unexpected. Check back for updates.
No, that's not the size of the coffee I ordered from Starbucks this morning. I wish.
It's the Spanish word for 'large', which describes the size of the mistake it was to make my jello legs get out my wonderful, amazing bed this morning.
In fact, that's all I can hear right now; the screeching of my thighs and calves...I think they're saying "we'll get you, my pretty", or something like that.
Well, now I understand why lawyers make you sign a statement saying you’re of sound mind when you make up your will. It’s so they can’t be sued for the stupid, hair-brained ideas you come up with. Take tonight for instance…
Moose and I were at Wal-Mart shopping for the food we’re taking to tomorrow night’s small group dinner. We decided to browse around and see what was new in Wally World. I stumbled out of the housewares section, and there they were.
The exercise videos, sitting non-chalantly on the shelves. Yep, juuuust sitting there. You know, looking all innocent and harmless like they do. Sitting on the shelf, quietly using their brain altering powers to convince you that you can be as happy and look as good as the guy or gal on the front cover if you own that particular video.
And they had them all in stock, too; the pilates with what’s-her-name, the kick boxing with the bald guy, the yoga, the walking…
And then I saw it. It was called “Dance Off the Inches…Sizzling Salsa”.
I picked it up and showed it to Moose. I said, “hey, this could be fun”. I promise I hadn’t been drinking. But I don’t know WHAT possessed me to think exercise and fun could go together. I know better than that; shame on me.
Yeah, we bought it. Yeah, we used it. Yeah, we totally suck at it. And “fun” is the LAST word I’d use to describe that dvd. Fun? PSH.
What can I say? I just wasn’t of ’sound mind’ tonight. And I’m pretty sure I won’t be of sound body tomorrow. At least, not until the motrin kicks in.
I gotta admit, I flipped out a little when I turned 30. I kept thinking about all the stuff I hadn't done and wanted to do, thought about all the stuff I had done and wished I hadn't, and all the stuff that was still to come, and wondered what my place was in all of that. Well, my birthday has rolled around again.
Today, after spending most of my days in the "T" zone (teens, twenties & thirties), I entered the "F" zone. I'm forty. That's right, the big 4-0, middle age, over the hill, etc.
But I gotta tell ya, entering the F zone hasn't been like turning 30 at all. And if I started to think some thoughts today similar to the ones I had when I turned 30, they were quickly and decisively dismissed this morning when Moose came in to kiss me good bye before work. He put my face in his hands and said "gosh, you don't look 40". Go ahead, call me vain. Tell me I'm shallow; I don't care. There was something about the way he said it that cemented the goodness of entering 'the F zone'. I'm cool with it.
If being 40 is as much fun as turning 40 has been, I'm gonna like the F zone a lot. I was sung to (twice), sent several good wishes and emails, given gifts I had mentioned I wanted, and came back to work after lunch to discover two, count 'em two, bouquets of flowers in my office; both of which contained purple flowers in honor of my favorite color. This birthday will long be remembered as the coolest one. And since I'm 40, there are a lot of birthdays to compare!
If you're reading this and you were one of the well-wishers, I want you to know you touched me deeply with your thoughtfulness. Thanks for celebrating the anniversary of my birth.
To recap the truths that would revolutionize our decision making processes:
1) God knows what’s best for you better than you know what’s best for you
2) Everybody you lay eyes on is a person for whom Christ died
3) God is up to something in the world and you are invited to play a part
Ready for the fourth?
- The single greatest obstacle to living a breakaway life is that when we wake up, we don’t set out on a truth quest.
If I bought a new car and told you I bought it because it’s safer than the Trailblazer, that’s crap. That’s not why I’d buy a new car. I’d be buying a new car because my ‘wanter’ kicked in and I ‘obeyed my thirst’ (no, Sprite isn’t paying me for that plug). And I’d get something with heated leather seats, an in-dash multiple CD player, GPS, MP3 capability, and a sun roof. And that’s just for starters. But buying a new car would only make me happy until I got the new payment and realized how much further in debt I am; then I wouldn’t be happy anymore. So which is it? Did buying the new car make me happy or not?
The thing is, when we make excuses to justify our actions, the people we tell don’t believe it. And we don’t believe it when they tell us their excuses, either. But we convince ourselves it’s true, and our self-deceit is our biggest hindrance to living a breakaway life.
Jeremiah 17:9 says the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? We already heard it once earlier in the series, and here it is again: you can’t trust your heart. If we pursue happiness rather than truth, God’s will will always seem extreme. When we chase truth, God’s will doesn’t seem so severe. In fact, when we seek truth, we’ll realize God’s will brings peace and contentment rather than the unrest that often follows carrying out our own will.
Joe wasn’t trying to change anybody’s behavior; his point was that we aren’t always honest with ourselves. He challenged us with these questions:
- Why am I doing this, really?
- If someone in my circumstances came to me for advice, what course of action would I recommend?
In 1 Chronicles 29, David’s son Solomon had been chosen to build the temple and it was a huge undertaking. David gave his resources to the buiding of the temple: gold, iron, silver, wood, bronze, onyx, turquoise, stone and marble. After he gave a huge amount (the Bible lists the specifics but I’m not going to), he gave his personal treasures to be used as well. Then he asked the assembly if any of them would be willing to give as well. Everyone gave willingly.
David never saw the temple built, but he gave a lot of resources to make it happen. Ditto for the folks under him. And the Bible says they did it willingly. Sidebar: I had to sit and let the principle of giving even though you might not see the result sink in. The point is that God owns it all. We can call stuff ours, but the truth is we’re just the managers of that stuff.
This is where it gets a little weird. Money is one of those things that makes people a little crazy or uncomfortable or trippy when it comes up. But money is just a tool; nothing more, nothing less. Most folks don’t think they have enough. Others seem to have an endless supply. But everybody has strong beliefs about how it should be managed. I’ve heard some say that you have to have money in order to have something to worry about managing. But that’s not true. There’s a Biblical principle that says if you manage what you have well, you’ll be given more to manage. And that’s pretty much true in all of life; employees who manage their tasks well are often given more tasks. Why do we complain about being given more responsibility at work to manage, but never about being given more money to manage? What’s up with that? I’ve seen people with plenty of money somehow manage to have nothing to show for all they’ve made, and others who have made very little, yet stretched it quite far. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.
What really stood out to me was David’s giving out of his kingly resources and then giving out of his personal accumulation. OK, I’ll bare my soul a little here: it seems that when I feel comfortable with what’s in my bank account, I tend to be more generous, but when I feel I have very little, I tend to become more stingy. But if I’m just a conduit, what am I worried about? God can give me some of His stuff to manage, and then move it right on along into someone else’s hands to manage for a while or maybe even for forever. Shouldn’t I care more about the way I manage His stuff, rather than how much of it I manage?
This week’s truth:
Sounds overly simplistic, doesn’t it? Sounds small, huh? Like it’s not that earth shattering. Like the sixth grade school play, right? Nu-uh. Not this. And definitely not when you read Psalm 33:8-11 (New International Version)
Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. (hint, ‘ALL’ means that none are left out!)
Warning! All your plans are candidates to be cancelled and He might not check with you first. But His plan CANNOT be stopped. No matter what people try to do to stop it. No matter what they say. No matter who they tell. No matter the circumstance. No matter the money situation. No matter how many times you screwed it up before. No. Matter. What.
If you don’t chase God’s plan rather than your own, when you get what you thought you wanted, you’ll discover it wasn’t worth the chase.
That’s freakin’ huge. At least it is to me, cause I’ve chased a lot of stuff that really wasn’t worth my time and energy.
God’s plan is gonna happen. And His plan for you is good. He said so in Jeremiah. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Have ya read “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren? That book confirmed what I’ve felt in my gut most of my life; that we’re meant for something big. Something important. Something more than we ever could’ve imagined on our own. That we’re meant to do something that’ll last forever; long after we’re gone.
Do you want to breakaway? Read Rick’s book.If you don’t have a copy, let me know and I’ll get one to you. Message me. It’s that powerful. And your life is that important.
When you were young, you wanted to blaze a trail (I still do, that’s why I drive a TRAILBLAZER!). But what happened? You woke up one morning and realized you’re nowhere near where you wanted to be. Culture tells us to runaway rather than to breakaway. Can the whole trajectory of our lives change in a moment?
The second life changing truth Joe shared this week is this:
That includes the well dressed lady you saw in the grocery story, the dirty, smelly guy you saw at McDonald’s, the kid with the mohawk, tattoos and piercings standing in front of you in line at the gas station, and the one whose reflection you see in the mirror every day.
Simple economics says that value is determined by what we’re willing to pay for something. Since God wants to have a relationship with us, He sent His Son to pay the price for our sin (which is death), so we could be with Him. The value of our souls was worth the cost of His Son’s death. Yeah, sit there and let that sink in for a second…I’ll wait.
OK, so that means the framework of every relationship we have needs to be based on the understanding that God valued every person you come into contact with so much that He died for him or her. God doesn’t love us because we’re valuable. We’re valuable because He loves us. Has anybody else ever offered to give up their life to save yours?
In Breakaway 1, I told you I’d share 4 truths that would revolutionize your thinking about decisions. Here it is; simple, yet threatening at the same time:
“God knows what’s best for you better than you know what’s best for you.”
Yeah, I know, mind boggling, huh? Not exactly.
Many people, when asked, would agree that God does indeed know what’s best for us better than we do. But are we living as if that were a core belief? I don’t think so, at least not as much as we’d like.
I remember when I made a decision that seemed best at the time, only to figure out later it was the wrong one. And other times in my life, I can think of when I wanted something to go a certain way and when it didn’t I was upset. It wasn’t long before I realized that it was better that things worked out the way they did.
If we all lived as if we believed God knew what was best for us, we’d worry less. We’d stress less. We’d fear less. And sometimes we don’t live that way because we don’t really trust Him.
Think about the last time you sat on a chair. You know, like when you sat down to check your email. God tells us to trust in Him with all our heart and not to lean on our own understanding. God wants us to trust Him the way we trust the chair is gonna hold us up when we get ready to sit in it. No scientific equations, no math, no testing or a ‘prove it to me and then I’ll believe it’ll hold me’ attitude. Just a belief that when you sat, you wouldn’t fall.
Our motivation is happiness. And since experience has already taught us that we don’t always know what makes us happy, why not rest on God? The Bible says the heart is deceitfully wicked, and because of that, we should trust God with ours.
If we don’t resolve the issue in our minds of God knowing better than we do, our outcomes will never be what they could be.
Sometimes when we reach a place in life where we want to breakaway, we end up running away instead. Is there another way to breakaway in life? What does it look like to be who you were created to be? A breakaway life is one that’s lived in sync with our Creator and how He designed us.
Romans 12:2 (The Amplified version) says: Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
What you believe fuels your decisions, and your decisions determine your outcome. Many times we get an outcome we didn’t want, so we go back to the decision we made to figure out what went wrong. That’s good. But sometimes we may need to go back farther. For example, if you believe that gravity isn’t a real force and you make the decision to jump out of a flying plane expecting to soar like an eagle, your outcome will be bad. *Thank you, Captain Obvious.* However, if you believe correctly that gravity is a real force that will pull you back down to earth, and decide to put on a parachute BEFORE you jump, your outcome will be better. See, the decision to jump out of a flying plane isn’t bad in and of itself, as long as your belief system is on track. *Not something I would do, but, hey, to each his own.*
Renewing your mind is similar to doing a renovation project in your house. If you’ve ever done any kind of remodeling, you know there are 3 truths that usually come into play: it’s messier than you thought, it takes longer than you thought, and it costs more than you thought.
It’s the same with renovating your mind.
What are the deeply held beliefs that led me to make the decisions that brought me to this place?
In the next Breakaway blog, I will introduce the first of 4 truths that will revolutionize the decision making process.
My friend Lori had this crazy idea tonight that she and I should take some of the kids from our youth group and go toilet paper a friend's house. I used to do this all the time when I was a teenager and was pretty good at it (I was even asked to 'decorate' a yard for a wedding.) We had so much fun!
I wrapped all the bushes and the trailer sitting on the side of the house, and the kids and Lori did the trees and put the forks in the ground. I wish we could've been there to see David & Kelly's faces faces when they came home.
I think I'm going to add 'Outdoor Design' to my resume and business cards. :)
Followers
my never-ending battle
My 411
- Eva M.
- After struggling to fit into the proverbial round hole, I figured it was more honest to embrace the natural facets of my personality: passion for God and people, off-the-wall logic and a twisted sense of humor.
I'm an Air Force wife and former homeschool mom who writes about people and relationships, my faith, and my family. I love my crazy, beautiful, mosaic life...and coffee.