The Square Peg

We got to tour the Casemate Museum at Fort Monroe while we were in Virginia earlier this week. It was pretty neat. Our tour guide was really great. Her name was Solveigh (pronounced “Solvee”). I like saying that. Solveigh. Solveigh. See? Fun. Solveigh knew a lot of interesting things about the history of the fort. And she carried a big, wide brimmed, colorful hat that she waved around sometimes and motioned with as she talked while we were inside the museum. She didn’t wave it around outside though; it was on her head keeping the sun out of her eyes.

The awards dinner was a lot of fun. Moose is the recipient of the General Jumper Warfighter of the Year award. I’m thinking about getting ”Warfighter of the Year” printed on a t-shirt for him. Wouldn’t that look cool?

Whew, the Moose and I can sure go from 90 mph to nothing! We decided we HAD to see the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel that stetches more than 17 miles across the Chesapeake Bay/Atlantic Ocean. We'd never seen anything like it. I'm going to google how it was made. But not tonight; I'm wiped out.

It was a beautiful day and we ran all around Chesapeake and Hampton. Tomorrow we are going to Williamsburg and Fort Monroe before the awards dinner.

Oh yeah, I saw a boat at the pier...the name of it was "Wet Debt". LOL

I am writing this from a hotel room in North Carolina. Moose and I are on our way to Virginia for an awards ceremony. We took off this morning and will be home in a few days. Before we left, Tasha said that while she hoped nothing weird would happen, she did hope I’d find something ‘blog worthy’ to write about while I was gone. So far, I have the following blog-fodder to share with you:

We left the house around 8:30ish. By the time we:
1) filled up the car with gas,
2) got coffee at the Starbucks inside Kroger instead of our regular favorite stand alone store because Kroger was within the ‘errand group vicinity’ and would save us a little time, mileage, and gas,
3) ran into the bank to close our local accounts so we wouldn’t be charged another fee for accounts we don’t use anymore,
4 & 5) went to get breakfast & say good-bye to Drewby,
6, 7, and 8) got about 5 or 6 miles down the road before we realized the camera was still sitting on the charger in the house, turned around to go get it and got back on the road…

it was 11. And what we saved by getting our coffee from Kroger got wiped out by numbers 6, 7 and 8. We weren’t in any particular hurry (don’t have to be there until tomorrow) but geez, Louise, the day just felt really long.

We stopped to eat lunch at Western Sizzlin. Boys and girls, can you say “Fashion Faux Pas Capital of the South“? I am not even kidding you. I think everybody in that place had bad hair, bad teeth, wore overalls, too much make up, or a combination of all of the aforementioned faux pas. Or is it faux pases? Faux pi? ??? Somebody please tell me what the plural form of faux pas is! I don’t know; I’m not French! I swear I thought I entered the redneck twilight zone. And the music! Oh. My. Word. It was slap awful. Old, annoying, psychedelic, whiney, shrill; you name it, they played it. Moose and I stood out like sore thumbs. For one thing, we were dressed appropriately (khaki shorts, t-shirt & flip flops for him; yellow tank top–which matched my yellow toe nail polish thank-you-very-much, blue jeans shorts and sandals for me. For another, we didn’t know ANY of the words to the songs they played. They did…and they were tapping their toes and singing along.

We checked into our hotel (Holiday Inn Express), did a little shopping at an outlet (didn’t buy anything), browsed around Target (again, we bought nada), and had a late dinner. I think our waitress was the gal that played Half Pint in Little House on the Prairie. Hey, don’t judge; the economy SUCKS!

We were almost finished with dinner when Tasha called my phone. Now before I go any further, you have to know that when I leave the house I always remind Drew about 3 (or 10) times that he has to watch Zoe carefully if she’s not locked up because she will get into stuff. She is, after all, still a puppy. I never tell Tasha anything more than once because she pays attention the first time and heeds my warnings and instructions. But today she must’ve gotten distracted by something sparkly which caused her to momentarily forget the one thing I repeat so often, I probably mumble it in my sleep: you have to keep an eye on Zoe. You should also know that my 3 (or 10) reminders to watch Zoe annoy Drew. Eh, you probably guessed that already.

Anyway…
It seems I will need to get a new spool of thread to replace the new spool of thread I bought for a sewing project. Tasha said the CSI team is still investigating how Zoe acquired it, but the ME’s (medical examiner) report stated it only took Zoe a few minutes to completely and utterly obliterate 36 yards of 100% cotton thread. It sounds like the start of a bad joke, doesn’t it? “How long does it take a puppy to kill a spool of thread?” Ha ha ha

You wanna know what’s really funny? It’s funny how Tasha was hoping I’d have something blog worthy to share and ended up being the material for said blog. Way to participate and not just spectate, Tashy! wOOt!

Will staying at the Holiday Inn Express make Brian eligible to perform surgery tomorrow like they advertise in the commercials? “No, I’m not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”

Is the pillow inside the pillowcase that has “firm” written on it REALLY firm or is that just a marketing ploy to make me think it’s firm? And what's up with hotel drapes always being so ugly, regardless of the color, style, and swankiness of the hotel? Is there a rule about this type of thing? If so, how do we change that? Where are the Hotel Decor Police when you need them? Will tomorrow’s part of the trip bring more bad fashion? GASP! Will Moose wear socks and sandals without my noticing?!

Will the lunch people from Western Sizzlin read this blog and see the evil of their ways? Will they buy new wardrobes?

Or will they stalk and capture me, forcing me to wear overalls and let the polish on my toes flake off slowly as I’m tied to a chair and made to listen to bad music until my ears emit tears?

Tune in again to find out…same blog url, same blog BS.
The Square Peg would like to thank our sponsor, Tasha. Without her support, there might not have been a blog post today. We appreciate her generosity and will buy her Starbucks coffee (or tea) when we return home in hopes that she won’t pull her sponsorship from our program.

I’m writing a book and the subject is about sex. But I’ve been suffering from writer’s block recently and haven’t been working on my book, so a friend suggested I write at Starbucks. I wasn’t sure I’d like it or be able to concentrate, but thought I’d give it a shot and went yesterday for the first time. I was at Starbucks for about 2 hours and totally tuned out the music playing in the store while my fingers typed away. Until I was about ready to leave.

The music playing?
“Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green.

Followed by:
“Sweet Surrender” by Sarah McLachlan.

And the couple sitting across the store from me?
Having a mini-makeout session. Must’ve been the music.

If your life had background music, what would one of your songs be? One of mine would probably be the chorus of “Unwell” by Matchbox Twenty. For those who aren’t familiar:

“But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be…me”

OK, not really. But it did make me want to say bad words and single-handedly destroy a self check-out machine.

You know, one of my favorite things about Wal-Mart is that they have 50 check out lanes, 10 cashiers manning them, and half a million customers trying to get their stuff rung up. Every. Single. Time. I. Go. I decided to go through the self check-out lane. And after standing in one for 10 minutes, it was discovered to be broken...so I found another one.

It seemed that nearly every item I swiped across the glass didn't register its weight when I put it in the bag on the stand. And the machine kept stopping its price-calculating work to flash the little button at me that says "I don't want to bag this item", and it wouldn't allow me to do anything else until after I clicked on said button, forcing me to lie to the self check-out machine and say I wasn't bagging the item, when in fact, I already had! I can't get arrested for that, can I? Don't tell the po-po, k?

While I was at Wal-Mart, I bought the Zoe dog a new toy. It was one of those ropes that was braided and knotted for chewing. Yeeahhh, within 5 minutes she had the knot undone, all braiding unbraided, and left it in a slobbered on, ripped apart, tangled up mess of string. And she couldn't have been prouder of herself.

Notice that big, fat stick in her mouth? Clearly, she has now moved on to bigger and better things.

And now that I've made my public confession and prayed over and forwarded all those stupid, I mean totally legit chain email letters I get, I've been given another chance at heaven.

Peace out, people. But if you're a little on the impatient side and want to keep peace (& go to heaven), I recommend you stay away from Wal-Mart.

:)

I knew that a song could jog your memory, sometimes taking you back in time, reminding you of where you were, who you were with, and what you were doing. That can be a good thing or a bad thing. :) And I knew that smells could do the same thing. Every time I smell Love's Baby Soft perfume, I'm suddenly back in junior high school goofing off with my friend Doug in class.

But today I learned that sound can have the same effect. It was our first time to swim without Mocha. I wasn't facing the pool when Moose jumped off the diving board and cannon-balled his way into the water. But right after I heard the first splash, it hit me square in the face as I waited for the second splash. Oh yeah, she's not here anymore.

Moving on isn't easy. It's a come-and-go sort of thing. I got misty-eyed earlier today and told Moose I missed his dog. He asked if I was sorry we hadn't waited until Monday like I originally wanted to. I told him I wasn't because it would've hurt next weekend the same as today. I wouldn't go backward but moving forward is tough.

Now, onto the 8's. It's coincidence that 3 of my recent posts have been about numbers; that's not the new theme of this blog.

Crazy Eights
8 Things I’m Looking Forward To:

1. Watching Moose accept an award he's being given: "Warfighter of the Year". I don't know what it means, but it sounds really cool.
2. August-when my BFF Cheryl & her family come to visit.
3. Making gluten-free bread in the bread machine I just bought from a friend. It better be good.
4. Getting this house organized & the doors painted.
5. Hanging out with some of my girlfriends later this week.
6. Washing all the laundry this week (and right after that, I'm gonna go volunteer to get a root canal w/o novacaine).
7. Watching Tasha try out for So You Think You Can Dance
8. Going to Starbucks to work on my book.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Ate breakfast at Chick-fil-A with Tasha & Moose.
2. Went to Travis & April's to hang out, drink coffee & eat Krispy Kreme donuts.
3. Went to the Dollar Theater to watch 17 Again...again. Loved it as much the 2nd time as I did the first.
4. Went to PetSmart to look at the dogs up for adoption. Saw an adorable Mastiff/Boxer mix who was the color of peanut butter with black flecks in her coat. Gorgeous!
5. Took Zoe for a walk and noted how weird it felt not to have 2 dogs.
6. Did the grocery shopping. They still had that creepy Andy Baldwin cut out at the end of one of the aisles. That thing's got to go.
7. Read a book (not the whole thing).
8. Got confirmation about something I've been suspecting a while.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Play the drums.
2. Sing. Well.
3. A back handspring.
4. Play the piano.
5. Learn to do the Shoulder Shiggey as well as Tasha.
6. Learn Spanish. Again.
7. Lose 50 pounds. Without having to work for it.
8. Move to the northwest. Or overseas. Or to Alaska. Or anywhere that has 4 different seasons. I've been living in places that only have 2 seasons since 1993.

8 Shows I Watch:

1. So You Think You Can Dance.
2. LOST.
3. Criminal Minds.
4. Big Bang Theory.
5. Fringe.
6. Gary Unmarried.
7. The Mentalist.
8. The Ellen Show.

8 Favorite Fruits:

1. Cherries.
2. Blueberries.
3. Raspberries.
4. Blackberries.
5. Pineapples.
6. Strawberries.
7. Kiwi
8. Cantalope.

8 Places I’d Like To Travel:

1. Spain.
2. Australia.
3. Germany.
4. Italy.
5. Scotland.
6. Cruise around the world.
7. Alaska.
8. Fiji.

8 Places I’ve Lived:

1. New York.
2. California.
3. Washington.
4. Tennessee.
5. Texas. Twice. Liked it both times. Except for the heat.
6. Kentucky.
7. North Carolina. Oh, God, please--never again.
8. Georgia. Twice. Don't like the heat. Or the humidity.

Where next? :)

Remember that cough I mentioned Mocha had a couple days ago? The one our vet was concerned about? Today, x-rays revealed she has pneumonia. And lung cancer. Because we don't want her to suffer anymore, we're going to have her put down tomorrow or early next week.

The summer isn't going to be the same without her in the pool with us. Her bark that asks for the tennis ball to be thown into the pool, the sound of her nails on the deck as she runs laps around the pool, the splash as she jumps in, and the whine when she wants to race you from the diving board to the steps...yep, big, old void.

For health reasons, I am striving to have a gluten-free diet. I spent 1/5 of my two-week grocery budget on specialty GF items at Kroger earlier this week, pulled out my Gluten-free for Dummies book, and have been shopping online for recipes and grocery items that are GF.
I was just browsing the Gluten-Free Mall's website and 1-2-3 Gluten-free brownie mix is NINE DOLLARS--and that's the "sale" price; the regular price is $11.25. And the 1-2-3 GF corn bread mix (southern style)? $7.34...down from $9.18.
I'm fixing to yell; cover your eyes real quick.

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME? WHY ARE GF ITEMS SO EXPENSIVE?!?!

I had to let that out.

Can somebody just explain that to me? I have a real problem with price gouging (to be fair, I guess everybody does...except the gougers). At that rate, the brownie mix should feed a swarm of hungry teenage boys. But it doesn't. I thought one of the brands of GF brownie mix at Kroger was unreasonable at the $6 price, so I didn't buy it (I have a real problem with unreasonable-ness, too). I understand it's a specialty item but come on.

The bottom line?

Dear 1-2-3- Gluten-free prices: Customer service FAIL. Despite the fact that you're gluten-free.

I found a great quote at http://proudatheists.wordpress.com/ It said:

"The American brand of Christianity is unraveling while its hypocrisy is being weighed by the minds of our younger folks and discovering that questioning religious doctrine is a trait of human nature, not the voice of Satan."

I love this quote! And I totally see where the 'Cultural Christianity' I'm familiar with is unraveling because of its hypocrisy. Yet I seem to know a lot of people who aren't keen on the idea of their faith being discussed. That's really unfortunate because Ecclesiastes 7:18 says, "It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it."

I don't think asking questions is bad; I think it's profitable. When I was growing up, I was told not to question things. This really bugged me because I wanted to understand why some things were the way they were. But there was no freedom to ask; only rules to follow. And rules without relationships often lead to rebellion. I'm proof of that. :)

I know some people think it's wrong to question things like religion and other 'hot topics,' but it seems that when people think questions are bad it's usually because they're afraid. Maybe they're afraid their faith isn't strong enough to stand up to the questions; maybe there's some other reason. But I believe questions aren't something we should fear. We should embrace them because they help us grow.

Windows of acceptability...it's sort of like when you think the lady in front of you in the left lane driving 45 in a 55 mph zone is an idiot, and the guy who blows your doors off as he passes you doing 82 in a 70 is a maniac.

Those are your windows of acceptability. Anything outside of that is unacceptable, annoying, dumb, ridiculous; or whatever adjective describes your feeling.

But I wonder how many people exclude others because those people don't fall into their windows of acceptability. Have you ever avoided a conversation, a relationship, a dialog, or just being neighborly to someone because:

she doesn't go to church

he's gay

she's got a Christian fish on the back of her van

he's an atheist

he's Muslim

she's black

his arms are covered in tattoos and his earlobes can hold his cell phone

he's got the wrong Presidential candidate sticker on his car's bumper

I'd like to see us break down our boxes and get out of our comfort zones. I'd like to see less "us vs. them" and more "we." And could we leave judgment at the door to better focus on our relationships? I'm not talking about making someone who is your polar opposite your best friend. But how about not keeping him as your enemy?

Peace.