The Square Peg

About a week or so ago, I came home one night to hear what sounded like rocks spinning around in the dryer. When I checked, I discovered Drew had washed and dried his barely 2-month-old iPod. When we first checked it, it played music but the video didn't work. Now it won't work at all.

Last night I took some laundry out of the dryer and saw something that didn't belong...the plastic cover to my thumb drive. Uh-oh. I don't remember putting the thumb drive in my pants pocket but apparently I did. And this thumb drive has the master spreadsheet on it that contains every password to every account I have, our budget, and all of my writing. I usually put it in the fireproof safe at night, but when I came home from writing at Starbucks yesterday, it didn't get put back where it belongs. *big sigh*

So, what have you washed? Anything interesting?

After talking to friends, acquaintances, watching TV and movies, surfing the internet, and overhearing conversations while standing in various lines, I’ve come to the conclusion that Hell is amazing and its properties are quite complex. Here’s why:

It’s mathematically visualized.· For real; just type in 7734 on your calculator, turn it upside down, and you’ll see hell.

It’s descriptive of personalities:
· funny as hell
· romantic as hell
· mad as hell
· stupid as hell
· dumb as hell
· cheap as hell

and degrees of talent:
· run like hell
· sing like hell

It's involved with the impossibility of things:
· “It'll be a cold day in hell before I do that again” (is this where global warming originated?)

· Snowballs aren’t welcome there (“He doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of taking her to the prom”)

And in case you didn't know:
· it has the ability to 'break loose,' thereby wreaking havoc in a situation
· bats apparently exit hell more quickly than other creatures because nobody ever says "he ran like a cheetah out of hell"
· it equates with being as challenging as high water with regard to keeping you from doing something you want to do – “Come hell or high water, I’m going to that concert!”
· if you want to travel there comfortably, go in a handbasket like the rest of the world
· according to the Newboys, breakfast isn’t served there
· you can catch hell, which is never good (is it molecularly structured like a hot potato?), but I can’t seem to get an answer of whether or not one needs a special glove to catch it (like with baseballs) or if you use your bare hands
· bad days, weeks, and sometimes months at work come from there: “This has been a week from hell”
· the weather tries to copy it - “it’s hot as hell out here”
· young adults want to raise a little of it
· Mothers only have the upper body strength to do that once – “I’m the only hell my Momma ever raised.”
· sometimes it comes on wheels (like a skateboard? or bigger, like a motorcycle?)
· it’s the first installment in the hell, fire, and brimstone trilogy
· bad tempered, spiteful women are cats originating from there (hellcat is in the dictionary)

It has relatives in the real estate market:· “Where the hell is my toothbrush?”
· Georgia is apparently annexed to hell - “I’ve looked all over hell and half of Georgia for you”

But will never be featured on the Travel Channel as a “don’t-miss” destination:· “I’ve been through hell and back with that woman” (he said after the divorce was final)
· “I won’t work with them again. Doing that job with them was like driving through hell on an air-conditioned bus with a six-pack of Pepsi.”

It’s used to express confusion, disbelief and general wonderment:· “What the hell did she do her to her hair?”
· “What the hell did you do that for?”
· “What the hell just happened?”
· “What the hell is going on here?”

And finally:
Giselle is from there (according to her user name on twitter). Seriously. Twitter GiselleFromHell; you’ll see.

Why is asking God to damn something considered taking his name in vain but saying "Lord, bless his heart" isn't? Aren't they both a type of prayer, even if one of them has meanness at its root?

I've recently gotten back in touch with my friend Shelia from high school. I haven't seen her in over 20 years and we've been playing catch up. She read a few of my blog posts and asked if I liked to write when we were in high school. I told her the only thing I liked about high school was the boys. Yeah, the desire to write definitely came a little later in life. Ha ha

I've discovered that I tend to write out of 2 things: passion and boredom. For the most part, I write for me. It's therapeutic. I enjoy looking back over things I've written and comparing where I was then to where I am currently. It's interesting to see how I've changed and grown. It's really funny to me to read things I've written and read how intense my feelings were at the time and see how they've sometimes changed.

Sometimes I share what write because I want feedback. And I'm not just talking about feedback from people who only agree with my point of view or opinions; I really enjoy hearing other people's thoughts and points of view. Well, until the person doesn't know when enough is enough or it seems they're only trying to persuade me to think just like they do. Then it stops being challenging and fun and becomes annoying. I'm just sayin'. :)

Obviously, I also write in part because I think I have something to share. I think we all think that about ourselves, at least a little bit, don't we? And this is where my passion comes in: I specifically write because my desire is: 1) to communicate to people--all people--they have immense value; 2) convey that their unique contribution to life on planet Earth cannot be duplicated by another; and 3) to encourage people to examine their deeply held beliefs for the purpose of moving forward with the healthy, balanced, truthful beliefs; and to have the courage to confront and be willing to change the false beliefs that prevent you from moving forward.

What about you: why do you do what you do?

What is a "Christian home?" I know what it means when someone says "this is a Christian home," but my question is "what makes a Christian home a Christian home;" what are the qualifications or requirements? And how do you know when a home isn't one? Is it lifestyle? Are there degrees of Christianity within a home? Is it measured by the sin tolerance level or lack thereof?

If a home has people in it who sometimes lie but go to regularly attend church and have a relationship in which they seek God's guidance and direction while trying to follow the path they think He's on, is it still a Christian home? How many lies does it take before it's not a Christian home anymore?

What about cussing? A lot of people think that's a good indicator of spirituality. Others don't.

And what about wife beating or child abuse? Does the man who beats his wife or the woman who beats her kids not counted as Christians because of their behavior? Are they considered Christians who just have demons to battle?

What about disrespectful attitudes from one spouse to another or both toward each other to toward a child?

How about smoking? Is it ok to smoke in a Christian home?

If both parents are Christians, but the grandmother and 2 of the kids are atheists, is it still a Christian home?

What are the rules and who defines them? Is it all left to the discretion or interpretation of the owner? Is there anything sacred about the dwelling? Is a Christian home something to be revered? Should we take off our shoes when we go in because we're on holy ground? Is a Christian home any different than a church?

I overheard a woman recently say she grew up in a Christian home but that it's not a Christian home anymore. When did it change? How did it change? What's the difference in how the home is taken care of, led, managed & lived in now, compared to when it was still a Christian home? Is it required that the home be redecorated so visitors will be aware of the change? I'm kidding about that last part.

Is labeling a home Christian another way of forcing authority over others? This is a Christian home, so you can't smoke, drink alcohol, express your claim to atheism or cuss when you're here. Those things have to be kept outside of these Christian walls.

Is it important to identify a home as a Christian home? Why?

As I walk in my calling, I'll do what I do because I'm the only one who can. I was created to be me in Him.

It's likely the calling on my life may require me to be different from everyone else; even those who would call themselves believers. To borrow a line from Kirk Franklin, don't be hating what I'm doin', I'm the vessel He's usin'.

Maybe what's yours-to-do involves running the assembly line to the best of your ability, sharing the gospel on a street corner through a bullhorn, or being a public school teacher. That's awesome. Dance your dance.

No living to please or pacify others allowed.