The Square Peg

Embracing the mojo because cutting
corners seemed counter-productive.

12/20/2010

milestones & maintenance

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I have finished my first term of college. I enjoyed the challenge (most of the time) and was intrigued by the subjects all the time. I took Elementary German and Intro to Psychology. I chose German because I knew it would benefit me while living here and because it met a requirement. I chose Psych because it's my major (I'm pretty sure I want to be a marriage/family therapist when I grow up) and knew the subject would pique my interest and confirm my vocational choice, or help me to realize I want to do something else.

I had a wonderful psych professor and her passion for the subject was clearly evident. Many days it seemed she had to pull herself back to keep from telling us more than we were ready for. The "science-y" subjects (the brain and how it works, neural impulses, vision, etc.) were interesting but the last few chapters were flat out fascinating to me. Those chapters were about personality, psychological disorders, therapies and social psychology. I wish we could've done them first and spent more time on them. The course covered many subjects that have interested me for years; things like social norms, collective cultures and how they compare to our individualistic culture, sexual orientations, critical thinking, and prejudice and discrimination.

I did very well on the first exam but quickly realized that keeping my newly earned A was harder than getting it. There were times I was tired of studying and memorizing and just wanted to relax. Spring fever hit about two weeks before the term ended and I realized the temptation for us to let our guard down (even if only a little) crosses into many areas of our lives.

We want something and we're willing to work to get it (good grade, girlfriend or boyfriend, spouse, different job, position, responsibility, new house), but pretty soon the new/excitement/glamor wears off and we realize just how much it takes to maintain what we've acquired. We don't really want to let ourselves (or anybody else) down but we're weary, sometimes even discouraged. And it's here that we have to encourage ourselves to stay focused on our goal and its priority. It's here the content of our character rises to the top and is unable to be washed over with our fancy words or efforts to deny it and present ourselves in the best light. And therein lies the struggle. In psychology, there's a theory known as the cognitive dissonance theory. We feel discomfort when our attitudes and behaviors aren't consistent, so we either change our behavior or we change our attitude. It's generally easier to change our attitude in an effort to make our behavior seem justifiable but deep down we know that's not OK. Its understandable, but it's not OK.


When you find yourself in that place...the place where you want to slow down, quit, rest, give up, or are just tempted to lose hope and give a little less than your best; don't. Don't decide it's not worth the effort. Don't decide to fudge a little. Don't choose to change your attitude toward what you're working for and assign it less value. Keep on keeping on, even if you're baby-stepping your way toward your goal. Why? Because finishing well is rewarding, not to mention empowering. And because regrets are hard to live with.

Talent may get you there but character keeps you there.

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