The Square Peg

Embracing the mojo because cutting
corners seemed counter-productive.

12/01/2009

grief

Thanks for hosting today's blog carnival, Peter.

When people hear the word grief, thoughts typically gravitate toward the death of a friend or family member. But grief reaches beyond death, and today I'm going to share a couple of the things I'm grieving.

  • I'm grieving a relationship that appears to have ended. I knew it was going to change but I expected the change to come after I moved. I knew I'd miss my friend and our time together, but I never dreamed I'd miss her while I was still living here. My heart wasn't prepared for this and I'm struggling to accept the way things are right now.
  •  I attend a really amazing church and with each week that goes by, I become increasingly aware of how much I'm going to miss it. Podcasts are posted online but it won't be the same as being there. I've never felt like I belonged or fit in any church I've attended as much as Lifepoint.
  • And five months later, it still feels weird without Mocha being a part of our evening walks.
Because I believe we can't fully appreciate life, joy, fun or happiness without experiencing grief, I won't fixate on what's missing. I'll turn my focus to what I have had: fun memories with my friend; I'll purposefully resist the temptation to compare every church we visit to LP, and I'll remember the nine years we spent laughing at our chocolate lab, throwing her tennis ball so much I thought my arm was going to fall off, and the way she seemed to believe everyone who entered our house was here to play ball or swim with her. And in a weird way, it's comforting to know this season of life will serve to grow and stretch me as much (or more) as any other.

Peace.

5 comments:

Glynn said...

It's the joy of what you've had that will be a part of grief at leaving it. And the joy matters. Thanks for the post.

Peter P said...

I've been learning today about grieving relationships.

Thank you for sharing this and teaching me more!

I appreciate you.

Anonymous said...

Grief definitely applies to more than death. I'm glad you shared this and I agree completely. I have been grieving over the 'loss' (not in death) of my best friend, I never thought we'd drift apart and the pain is tremendous!

I hope you find joy in your new surroundings, Eva.

CFloyd said...

That was a great way to cover different aspects of grieving. I am grieving from far away knowing a friend and fellow brother in Christ is falling back into alcoholism. I-I-I-I am grieving the loss of HIS testimony, because I was a witness when he came out of his hell and shook off those demons and began to run his Race with endurance and excellence. I was so excited when he got married and moved to Australia. And so disappointed and sad when I found out he began to slip back and give the devil a foothold again.

There are many levels and types of grief. And you are right, they do stretch you and help you grow. They keep you grounded too. We live in a fallen, sinful world. And to pretend otherwise only sets us up for our own falls.

XOXOXOXOX

Chris said...

About 15 years ago, I made some drastic changes in lifestyle, and my best friend didn't. We went years without talking. When My father died a year and a half ago, he called. We talk some, now.

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