The Square Peg

When was the last time you went on a recon mission? You know what I mean…you heard a juicy bit of gossip but didn't get the whole scoop, so you decided to run a ‘recon mission’ to find out more.

Like the time your co-worker suddenly resigned his position, citing 'personal reasons' for his departure and you started asking around to find why he really left, even though his decision to leave didn't affect your job at all. Yeah...that's running recon.

Or the time you heard your former pastor was caught looking at porn and might be fired so you called one of the deacons in your former church to express your 'concern' and desire to 'pray' for your pastor...even though you haven't spoken to him in over 3 years. Guess what? Yup...recon.

How about when a friend tells you another friend is spreading rumors about you and your boyfriend? Instead of getting a play-by-play from the repeater, what would happen if you employed the Matthew 18 approach to handle this situation? Don’t hide behind the mask you wear and talk to everybody else about the situation except the parties you should be talking to.

When you’ve been in the presence of someone as they spoke ill of someone else (not in the room), did you keep silent? Or did you gently point out that the conversation wasn’t appropriate? Did you come to the defense of the one being torn down or did you participate by agreeing, adding your own first-hand knowledge, or did you spread the poison further by making up new stories? I don't know about you, but I need to work on this part (not the new stories; the other stuff).

When was the last time you restored someone?

Everyone reading this knows what I'm talking about and everyone knows it's wrong. But just in case you need a little scripture:

Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships.
Proverbs 16:28

He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Proverbs 17:9
Did you realize you were separating friends when you talked about them?

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.
Galatians 6:1-3

As a ring of gold in a pig’s snout is a woman who shows no discretion.
Proverbs 11:22
Sidebar: It's not just women who need to work on this. I know plenty of men need to learn discretion, too.