The Square Peg

I think joy is intentional. I also think it's related to peace, as well as happiness.

Joy is intentional. 
There are a million reasons to become upset, hurt, angry, bitter, and depressed in life. People will spitefully use you, maliciously hurt you, take advantage of you, and sometimes even blame you for their own self-destruction. Money won't always be your BFF; neither will your health. And possibly not even a job.

But you can intentionally seek reasons to be joyful.

Christians are supposed to have a hope in Christ, but I know some atheist, agnostic, and humanist friends who are more hopeful during trying times than some of the Christians I know. And we all know someone who is negative about everything, no matter what's going on in his life. You know who I'm talking about: the person you're afraid to ask how things are going because you know he's actually going to tell you. I know a woman who is so negative, that on the occasions when I bump into her, I walk away feeling verbally assaulted with all of her negativity and dissatisfaction with everything around her. And to make it worse, she's a topper. So if she's having it bad, her bad is worse than any bad anyone else has ever had. And her great times are superior to everyone else's as well, although they're few and far in between. It's hard for me to be any kind of friend to this gal because it doesn't seem like she wants to be happy, and I'm a fixer by nature.

Joy is related to peace.
Intentionally looking for reasons to be joyful often brings me around to re-examining my core beliefs and ultimately, I find peace.

I am an eternally optimist person. One of my deeply held beliefs is that things work out well in the end. When things aren't looking good, I'm convinced it's not the end. I'm still sitting in my seat, waiting for the fat lady to sing.

I've navigated my fair share of life's hardships. And I can honestly tell you that through all of them, I have believed that some how, some way, at some point, things will make sense and they'll work out for the best. Now, that 'best' isn't always what I thought was best, but I've always been able to look back on a situation or season after it was over and see that what it ended up looking like was indeed, for the best. Including the two-month marriage to my physically abusive ex-husband, as well as the ensuing two years it took me to legally get him out of my life. It was a pretty rough season in my life, but when I look back on that tumultuous time, I can definitively say I never felt alone. And that's a peace that brings joy.
It's hard to stay cranky and bitter when you trust the One who says He loves you and has you in the palm of His hand. I personally believe God loves us simply because we exist. After all, that's why I love my kids. My love for them never hinges on their behavior and I expect God is the same. When I find that I'm having a pretty easy time gettin my grumpy on, it's usually because I'm not confident that God is still on the throne. Thinking I'm here alone feeling lost and abandoned makes me do crazy, desperate things. But stopping to catch my breath, and remembering the things I've already experienced relating to God's character, usually brings the proverbial cold water splash to the face that snaps me back to a reality of confident knowledge. And that leads to happiness because I am able to intentionally find some joy in life.

Let's take off that Garment of Grumpiness and go find some joy. Cause our Daddy loves us like no other and despite how we might "feel", that actually means something. And let's not trust our emotions all the time; they have a tendency to take off and when they do, we don't want to be on board.

Eva

I was listening to Carrie Underwood's cover of Home, Sweet Home today and thinking that her voice is so pure and clear. I know studios typically 'tweak' voices when recordings are edited and all that, but she sounds pretty much the same as she did when she was on American Idol.

And then I thought about a few of the times I've heard God's voice and how clear and unmistakable it was:

• Like the time I was thanking Him for letting me survive my first marriage (it was violent), showing Ryan and me such amazing grace, bringing Moose into our lives, and for giving us an incredible testimony about His work and He interrupted me and said "that's my story for you, Eva; I have a whole different story for Ryan to tell about Me". 

• And the time I left my wedding ring in the ladies bathroom at the base hospital and spent a week calling every clinic in the place asking if it was turned in only to be told it wasn't. Four months later I was leaving the hospital after another appointment and heard "go into the eye clinic across from the ladies bathroom and ask the girl at the desk about your ring." I wrestled with a million thoughts as I walked down that hallway toward the eye clinic. Turned out that gal had my ring all four months. She was getting off work a few minutes later and I followed her to her dorm to get it.
  

•  Then there was the time I'd bought a gift for Ryan that was to be given at a Christmas party. I had asked him to do something for me that was completely unrelated, but he didn't really want to do it. He asked if he'd still get the gift if he didn't do as I requested. I responded, "Ryan, you're going to love what I got you and I'm giving it to you regardless of your behavior; my gifts don't hinge on your actions." Ryan said "OK" and walked back to his room. And I distinctly heard God say, "And that's how it is with my love, Eva. It never hinges on behavior."

After going over those instances in my mind and recalling the time I've spent worrying about how God was going to answer questions and work stuff out in my life, it's pretty clear it was all for nothing. After all, He did say I'd know His voice (see John 10). He didn't lie.

Peace.

After talking to friends, acquaintances, watching TV and movies, surfing the internet, and overhearing conversations while standing in various lines, I’ve come to the conclusion that Hell is amazing and its properties are quite complex. Here’s why:

It’s mathematically visualized.· For real; just type in 7734 on your calculator, turn it upside down, and you’ll see hell.

It’s descriptive of personalities:
· funny as hell
· romantic as hell
· mad as hell
· stupid as hell
· dumb as hell
· cheap as hell

and degrees of talent:
· run like hell
· sing like hell

It's involved with the impossibility of things:
· “It'll be a cold day in hell before I do that again” (is this where global warming originated?)

· Snowballs aren’t welcome there (“He doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of taking her to the prom”)

And in case you didn't know:
· it has the ability to 'break loose,' thereby wreaking havoc in a situation
· bats apparently exit hell more quickly than other creatures because nobody ever says "he ran like a cheetah out of hell"
· it equates with being as challenging as high water with regard to keeping you from doing something you want to do – “Come hell or high water, I’m going to that concert!”
· if you want to travel there comfortably, go in a handbasket like the rest of the world
· according to the Newboys, breakfast isn’t served there
· you can catch hell, which is never good (is it molecularly structured like a hot potato?), but I can’t seem to get an answer of whether or not one needs a special glove to catch it (like with baseballs) or if you use your bare hands
· bad days, weeks, and sometimes months at work come from there: “This has been a week from hell”
· the weather tries to copy it - “it’s hot as hell out here”
· young adults want to raise a little of it
· Mothers only have the upper body strength to do that once – “I’m the only hell my Momma ever raised.”
· sometimes it comes on wheels (like a skateboard? or bigger, like a motorcycle?)
· it’s the first installment in the hell, fire, and brimstone trilogy
· bad tempered, spiteful women are cats originating from there (hellcat is in the dictionary)

It has relatives in the real estate market:· “Where the hell is my toothbrush?”
· Georgia is apparently annexed to hell - “I’ve looked all over hell and half of Georgia for you”

But will never be featured on the Travel Channel as a “don’t-miss” destination:· “I’ve been through hell and back with that woman” (he said after the divorce was final)
· “I won’t work with them again. Doing that job with them was like driving through hell on an air-conditioned bus with a six-pack of Pepsi.”

It’s used to express confusion, disbelief and general wonderment:· “What the hell did she do her to her hair?”
· “What the hell did you do that for?”
· “What the hell just happened?”
· “What the hell is going on here?”

And finally:
Giselle is from there (according to her user name on twitter). Seriously. Twitter GiselleFromHell; you’ll see.

What is a "Christian home?" I know what it means when someone says "this is a Christian home," but my question is "what makes a Christian home a Christian home;" what are the qualifications or requirements? And how do you know when a home isn't one? Is it lifestyle? Are there degrees of Christianity within a home? Is it measured by the sin tolerance level or lack thereof?

If a home has people in it who sometimes lie but go to regularly attend church and have a relationship in which they seek God's guidance and direction while trying to follow the path they think He's on, is it still a Christian home? How many lies does it take before it's not a Christian home anymore?

What about cussing? A lot of people think that's a good indicator of spirituality. Others don't.

And what about wife beating or child abuse? Does the man who beats his wife or the woman who beats her kids not counted as Christians because of their behavior? Are they considered Christians who just have demons to battle?

What about disrespectful attitudes from one spouse to another or both toward each other to toward a child?

How about smoking? Is it ok to smoke in a Christian home?

If both parents are Christians, but the grandmother and 2 of the kids are atheists, is it still a Christian home?

What are the rules and who defines them? Is it all left to the discretion or interpretation of the owner? Is there anything sacred about the dwelling? Is a Christian home something to be revered? Should we take off our shoes when we go in because we're on holy ground? Is a Christian home any different than a church?

I overheard a woman recently say she grew up in a Christian home but that it's not a Christian home anymore. When did it change? How did it change? What's the difference in how the home is taken care of, led, managed & lived in now, compared to when it was still a Christian home? Is it required that the home be redecorated so visitors will be aware of the change? I'm kidding about that last part.

Is labeling a home Christian another way of forcing authority over others? This is a Christian home, so you can't smoke, drink alcohol, express your claim to atheism or cuss when you're here. Those things have to be kept outside of these Christian walls.

Is it important to identify a home as a Christian home? Why?

I found a great quote at http://proudatheists.wordpress.com/ It said:

"The American brand of Christianity is unraveling while its hypocrisy is being weighed by the minds of our younger folks and discovering that questioning religious doctrine is a trait of human nature, not the voice of Satan."

I love this quote! And I totally see where the 'Cultural Christianity' I'm familiar with is unraveling because of its hypocrisy. Yet I seem to know a lot of people who aren't keen on the idea of their faith being discussed. That's really unfortunate because Ecclesiastes 7:18 says, "It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it."

I don't think asking questions is bad; I think it's profitable. When I was growing up, I was told not to question things. This really bugged me because I wanted to understand why some things were the way they were. But there was no freedom to ask; only rules to follow. And rules without relationships often lead to rebellion. I'm proof of that. :)

I know some people think it's wrong to question things like religion and other 'hot topics,' but it seems that when people think questions are bad it's usually because they're afraid. Maybe they're afraid their faith isn't strong enough to stand up to the questions; maybe there's some other reason. But I believe questions aren't something we should fear. We should embrace them because they help us grow.

I woke up with the thought of coffee permeating the entire essence of my brain. Most days, on a scale of 1 to 10, I’m about a 2 or 3 with regard to desire for coffee. This morning I was a big, ol’, fat 15. I honestly thought (for a few minutes) I was going to break my coffee fast. I don’t need to spend the money, don’t need the calories, and don’t need the sugar. But I wanted it.

I found out last night at dinner that Catholics partake (on the Sabbath only) in whatever it is they gave up for lent. And this morning I wanted to be Catholic. Real bad. But as much as I wanted coffee, I want this Easter season to be more more.

I’m still thinking about how I want to mark this Easter and the ending of Lent. I have an idea but I’m going to keep thinking it over and share it with you later. But I will tell you that this idea involves special shoes and, of course, coffee.

Ciao!

I’ve heard about Lent throughout my life, but never actually celebrated Lent personally. Until now.

For the past few years, I have felt as if Easter had sneaked up on me and was gone before I knew it, but I determined this year would be different. I wanted a fresh perspective for Easter this season and there’s nothing like intentional, laser-focused awareness to bring about a change of view (and heart). This year I am contemplating Easter and celebrating its meaning in a very deliberate way; by giving up coffee during the Lenten season.

I spent nearly two weeks thinking about what I would give up for Lent to assist with my paradigm shift. I considered giving up carbs, soda, caffeine, TV, and the internet before settling on coffee. I even toyed with the idea of doing it backward and adding something new into my life rather than removing something. But in the end, I kept coming back to coffee. I consider coffee to be my greatest indulgence, so giving it up will be a meaningful and challenging sacrifice for me.
I expect it won’t be easy. I expect to be challenged. I expect to miss it. But each time I think about coffee, I’m going to redirect my focus onto Easter’s meaning and purpose. I’m not sure how I’ll mark the finale of the Easter season yet. But I’ve got 46 non-coffee-drinking days to consider it.

Do you celebrate Lent? If so, I’d love to hear about what you’re giving up and why.
Peace out.

To recap the truths that would revolutionize our decision making processes:

1) God knows what’s best for you better than you know what’s best for you
2) Everybody you lay eyes on is a person for whom Christ died
3) God is up to something in the world and you are invited to play a part

Ready for the fourth?

• The single greatest obstacle to living a breakaway life is that when we wake up, we don’t set out on a truth quest.

We only chase what makes us happy. When we become people who make decisions that will make us ‘happy’, we have to make up excuses to justify that decision.

If I bought a new car and told you I bought it because it’s safer than the Trailblazer, that’s crap. That’s not why I’d buy a new car. I’d be buying a new car because my ‘wanter’ kicked in and I ‘obeyed my thirst’ (no, Sprite isn’t paying me for that plug). And I’d get something with heated leather seats, an in-dash multiple CD player, GPS, MP3 capability, and a sun roof. And that’s just for starters. But buying a new car would only make me happy until I got the new payment and realized how much further in debt I am; then I wouldn’t be happy anymore. So which is it? Did buying the new car make me happy or not?

The thing is, when we make excuses to justify our actions, the people we tell don’t believe it. And we don’t believe it when they tell us their excuses, either. But we convince ourselves it’s true, and our self-deceit is our biggest hindrance to living a breakaway life.

Jeremiah 17:9 says the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? We already heard it once earlier in the series, and here it is again: you can’t trust your heart. If we pursue happiness rather than truth, God’s will will always seem extreme. When we chase truth, God’s will doesn’t seem so severe. In fact, when we seek truth, we’ll realize God’s will brings peace and contentment rather than the unrest that often follows carrying out our own will.

Joe wasn’t trying to change anybody’s behavior; his point was that we aren’t always honest with ourselves. He challenged us with these questions:

• Why am I doing this, really?
• If someone in my circumstances came to me for advice, what course of action would I recommend?

Since it starts here, I think I’ll go look in the mirror.

In 1 Chronicles 29, David’s son Solomon had been chosen to build the temple and it was a huge undertaking. David gave his resources to the buiding of the temple: gold, iron, silver, wood, bronze, onyx, turquoise, stone and marble. After he gave a huge amount (the Bible lists the specifics but I’m not going to), he gave his personal treasures to be used as well. Then he asked the assembly if any of them would be willing to give as well. Everyone gave willingly.

David never saw the temple built, but he gave a lot of resources to make it happen. Ditto for the folks under him. And the Bible says they did it willingly. Sidebar: I had to sit and let the principle of giving even though you might not see the result sink in. The point is that God owns it all. We can call stuff ours, but the truth is we’re just the managers of that stuff.

This is where it gets a little weird. Money is one of those things that makes people a little crazy or uncomfortable or trippy when it comes up. But money is just a tool; nothing more, nothing less. Most folks don’t think they have enough. Others seem to have an endless supply. But everybody has strong beliefs about how it should be managed. I’ve heard some say that you have to have money in order to have something to worry about managing. But that’s not true. There’s a Biblical principle that says if you manage what you have well, you’ll be given more to manage. And that’s pretty much true in all of life; employees who manage their tasks well are often given more tasks. Why do we complain about being given more responsibility at work to manage, but never about being given more money to manage? What’s up with that? I’ve seen people with plenty of money somehow manage to have nothing to show for all they’ve made, and others who have made very little, yet stretched it quite far. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.

What really stood out to me was David’s giving out of his kingly resources and then giving out of his personal accumulation. OK, I’ll bare my soul a little here: it seems that when I feel comfortable with what’s in my bank account, I tend to be more generous, but when I feel I have very little, I tend to become more stingy. But if I’m just a conduit, what am I worried about? God can give me some of His stuff to manage, and then move it right on along into someone else’s hands to manage for a while or maybe even for forever. Shouldn’t I care more about the way I manage His stuff, rather than how much of it I manage?

This week’s truth:

Sounds overly simplistic, doesn’t it? Sounds small, huh? Like it’s not that earth shattering. Like the sixth grade school play, right? Nu-uh. Not this. And definitely not when you read Psalm 33:8-11 (New International Version)

Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. (hint, ‘ALL’ means that none are left out!)

Warning! All your plans are candidates to be cancelled and He might not check with you first. But His plan CANNOT be stopped. No matter what people try to do to stop it. No matter what they say. No matter who they tell. No matter the circumstance. No matter the money situation. No matter how many times you screwed it up before. No. Matter. What.

If you don’t chase God’s plan rather than your own, when you get what you thought you wanted, you’ll discover it wasn’t worth the chase.

That’s freakin’ huge. At least it is to me, cause I’ve chased a lot of stuff that really wasn’t worth my time and energy.

God’s plan is gonna happen. And His plan for you is good. He said so in Jeremiah. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Have ya read “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren? That book confirmed what I’ve felt in my gut most of my life; that we’re meant for something big. Something important. Something more than we ever could’ve imagined on our own. That we’re meant to do something that’ll last forever; long after we’re gone.

Do you want to breakaway? Read Rick’s book.If you don’t have a copy, let me know and I’ll get one to you. Message me. It’s that powerful. And your life is that important.

When you were young, you wanted to blaze a trail (I still do, that’s why I drive a TRAILBLAZER!). But what happened? You woke up one morning and realized you’re nowhere near where you wanted to be. Culture tells us to runaway rather than to breakaway. Can the whole trajectory of our lives change in a moment?

The second life changing truth Joe shared this week is this:

That includes the well dressed lady you saw in the grocery story, the dirty, smelly guy you saw at McDonald’s, the kid with the mohawk, tattoos and piercings standing in front of you in line at the gas station, and the one whose reflection you see in the mirror every day.

Simple economics says that value is determined by what we’re willing to pay for something. Since God wants to have a relationship with us, He sent His Son to pay the price for our sin (which is death), so we could be with Him. The value of our souls was worth the cost of His Son’s death. Yeah, sit there and let that sink in for a second…I’ll wait.

OK, so that means the framework of every relationship we have needs to be based on the understanding that God valued every person you come into contact with so much that He died for him or her. God doesn’t love us because we’re valuable. We’re valuable because He loves us. Has anybody else ever offered to give up their life to save yours?

In Breakaway 1, I told you I’d share 4 truths that would revolutionize your thinking about decisions. Here it is; simple, yet threatening at the same time:

Sometimes when we reach a place in life where we want to breakaway, we end up running away instead. Is there another way to breakaway in life? What does it look like to be who you were created to be? A breakaway life is one that’s lived in sync with our Creator and how He designed us.

Romans 12:2 (The Amplified version) says: Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

What you believe fuels your decisions, and your decisions determine your outcome. Many times we get an outcome we didn’t want, so we go back to the decision we made to figure out what went wrong. That’s good. But sometimes we may need to go back farther. For example, if you believe that gravity isn’t a real force and you make the decision to jump out of a flying plane expecting to soar like an eagle, your outcome will be bad. *Thank you, Captain Obvious.* However, if you believe correctly that gravity is a real force that will pull you back down to earth, and decide to put on a parachute BEFORE you jump, your outcome will be better. See, the decision to jump out of a flying plane isn’t bad in and of itself, as long as your belief system is on track. *Not something I would do, but, hey, to each his own.*

Renewing your mind is similar to doing a renovation project in your house. If you’ve ever done any kind of remodeling, you know there are 3 truths that usually come into play: it’s messier than you thought, it takes longer than you thought, and it costs more than you thought.
It’s the same with renovating your mind.

What are the deeply held beliefs that led me to make the decisions that brought me to this place?

In the next Breakaway blog, I will introduce the first of 4 truths that will revolutionize the decision making process.