I was reading some articles about motivation and exercise, and ran across this quote.
A fundamentally independent thinker understands that nothing makes a person upset, angry, or depressed; rather, what a person thinks about things determines how they feel. As Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” There is no motivation without this important “inner game.”
This really hit home for me because I had a conversation with someone recently in which I was verbally attacked. I got offended--my emotions took off and I got on board. And it affected me too much for too long. I let that person's words dictate my mood and attitude for several days. I don't like that about myself, and I've been working on it, but this quote was the kick I needed to put that incident in a more appropriate place--like, moving it from the windshield of my life to the rearview mirror.
I'm going to rethink the way I think about things, especially in situations like this one. Some things in life aren't avoidable, but how we respond to them is optional.
:)
Here are some photos from our trip to Prague last October. So far, this is our favorite city to visit. We were counting on me using my broken German to get us through at restaurants but as it turns out, English is practically the second language in Prague. *Everywhere* we went, Czech, German and English were spoken.
Rhody gets more precious every day. He knows my voice when I talk to him and likes to snuggle on my chest while I pat his back. And I'm pretty sure I'm the queen of getting babies to burp because he does it every time I hold him. LOL
As I hold Rhody and smooch him, I am reminded of how my grandfather used to tell me at the beginning of my visits with him and my grandmother that they needed "hundreds and hundreds" of kisses from me while I was at their house or they were at mine. I distinctly remember one visit when I promised my Papa 100 kisses per hour. And at the top of every hour, I'd go find him and give him a hundred kisses. It made me feel so special. It was no surprise that he wanted kisses from my boys when they came along.
When they were tiny babies, Papa used to hold them and kiss all over their little faces. Then he'd pull them away from him so he could look at them, and he'd say the Hungarian equivalent of "oh, my gosh!" in his thick accented voice and then kiss them all over again. I now understand Papa's sentiments because when I'm holding little Rhody the urge to smooch that precious baby is simply irresistible. And I soo understand why he needed so many kisses because I need so many Rhody smooches before I go back home.
We had 7 months to prepare for our move overseas. And while we knew we couldn't know every way our lives would change after we moved, we were very aware of the fact that our family would never be the same again. It wasn't just that we were turning a page; we were starting a new chapter, possibly even a new book in the "Miller Time Chronicles" series. There were so many questions that were yet to be answered. Questions like: would the boys be married by the time we moved back to the States? Where would they live? Would we have any grandchildren in 4 years? Would we like living in Germany? How would it feel to live in a country that doesn't have air conditioning, even though it gets well into the 90's during the summer? Would the Germans like us? What will it be like to live in a house without either of our kids?
It has been winter in our family...winter in that many things we knew before this season were going to die in a way; winter in the sense that part of our family life was going to become dormant for a season.
If I were to make a guess based on my friends' Facebook status updates, I'd say most people think winter is dark and dreary and makes them wish for the summer weather to return. A lot of people curse winter; some have even moved to Florida or Hawaii to avoid it. But given that we have to let go of some things in order to have room in our hands to receive new things, I think we should look at winter in a new way and maybe even consider welcoming it.
I enjoy winter. I love the snow and cooler temperatures. I love sleeping with the windows open and feeling the cool air around me as I'm tucked into a warm bed under a big, billowy comforter and surrounded by pillows. I seldom want to curl up in a blanket and snuggle to watch a movie in the summer (especially not in the south), but it's almost a daily desire in the winter. I love what winter brings: spicy scented candles (nobody burns a pumpkin pie candle in June); a whirlwind of seasonal decorations; hearty soups and stews; even different colored clothing and hair (have you ever noticed most winter clothes are darker and more muted in color--and that many women put blond in their hair during the summer but go dark for winter?). I love these things even though I don't necessarily want them all year long (although, after living in the south for 17 years, I'd like to experience a season other than summer from March-November!).
During the winter, things die off or become dormant: grass, flowers, plants, etc. But just because you can't see the flower's blooms, doesn't mean it's not under the surface, waiting for the right time to pop out of the ground and beautify your life again.
A few months after we left Georgia, we found out both boys would be making us grandparents just before spring arrives. Rhody and Emma are the newest bulbs in the Miller family garden. Some of the answers to our questions are growing and being answered much sooner than we expected. LOL Others are still a mystery.
Winter can be cold and hard, but winter is like challenging seasons in our lives; it precedes spring. Spring brings new life, new hope, and new promises. But you can't have spring without going through winter first. Some winters are mild, some are extreme. But don't curse the cold or get discouraged by the dormancy of the season; hang in there and try to enjoy the unique comforts of the winter. And even if this spring isn't exactly like last spring, that doesn't mean it won't be amazing.
Embrace winter.
I have finished my first term of college. I enjoyed the challenge (most of the time) and was intrigued by the subjects all the time. I took Elementary German and Intro to Psychology. I chose German because I knew it would benefit me while living here and because it met a requirement. I chose Psych because it's my major (I'm pretty sure I want to be a marriage/family therapist when I grow up) and knew the subject would pique my interest and confirm my vocational choice, or help me to realize I want to do something else.
I had a wonderful psych professor and her passion for the subject was clearly evident. Many days it seemed she had to pull herself back to keep from telling us more than we were ready for. The "science-y" subjects (the brain and how it works, neural impulses, vision, etc.) were interesting but the last few chapters were flat out fascinating to me. Those chapters were about personality, psychological disorders, therapies and social psychology. I wish we could've done them first and spent more time on them. The course covered many subjects that have interested me for years; things like social norms, collective cultures and how they compare to our individualistic culture, sexual orientations, critical thinking, and prejudice and discrimination.
I did very well on the first exam but quickly realized that keeping my newly earned A was harder than getting it. There were times I was tired of studying and memorizing and just wanted to relax. Spring fever hit about two weeks before the term ended and I realized the temptation for us to let our guard down (even if only a little) crosses into many areas of our lives.
We want something and we're willing to work to get it (good grade, girlfriend or boyfriend, spouse, different job, position, responsibility, new house), but pretty soon the new/excitement/glamor wears off and we realize just how much it takes to maintain what we've acquired. We don't really want to let ourselves (or anybody else) down but we're weary, sometimes even discouraged. And it's here that we have to encourage ourselves to stay focused on our goal and its priority. It's here the content of our character rises to the top and is unable to be washed over with our fancy words or efforts to deny it and present ourselves in the best light. And therein lies the struggle. In psychology, there's a theory known as the cognitive dissonance theory. We feel discomfort when our attitudes and behaviors aren't consistent, so we either change our behavior or we change our attitude. It's generally easier to change our attitude in an effort to make our behavior seem justifiable but deep down we know that's not OK. Its understandable, but it's not OK.
When you find yourself in that place...the place where you want to slow down, quit, rest, give up, or are just tempted to lose hope and give a little less than your best; don't. Don't decide it's not worth the effort. Don't decide to fudge a little. Don't choose to change your attitude toward what you're working for and assign it less value. Keep on keeping on, even if you're baby-stepping your way toward your goal. Why? Because finishing well is rewarding, not to mention empowering. And because regrets are hard to live with.
Talent may get you there but character keeps you there.
ROUND ONE!
When we found out we were moving to Germany, I knew big changes were coming. I knew our family would never be the same again; not in a bad way, just that major evolutionary changes were on the horizon. Little did I know, nearly ten months (at the time of this writing) and two grandbabies on their way later, and voila! The changes are here!
ROUND TWO!
I'm making my way around yet another corner. That's right, you're about to witness my foray into the world of higher education. After a 25 year hiatus.
I'm taking two classes this term: German and Intro to Psych. I need a foreign language credit, so why not now? It'll help me navigate my way through Germany as well as meet a requirement for my degree. I love efficiency. I chose to take Psych because it's a subject I'm interested in.
Today was a day of firsts. The first day of the week. The first day of the month. My first day of college(!). The first time I sat in a classroom and *didn't* have to spell, pronounce or otherwise clarify my last name to a teacher. (Last time I was in school, my surname was McElyea. It wasn't a bad last name, but let's be real: you write Miller and there's no question as to how it's pronounced. Ah, it's the little things in life...LOL)
I like my professor. Her expertise and experience are quite impressive. And I realized that my life isn't going to be the same again. Starting today, and continuing for a long, long time, I will be a student. Hello, homework; goodbye, life!
I feel about going to college the same way I felt about moving to Germany: I am excited about the new opportunity, nervous about the unknown, and keenly aware that things will never be the same again. That's not to say they won't be good. But I hope I embrace the opportunity to further my education as easily and with as much zeal as I have embraced the incredible opportunity to live in Europe.
Stay tuned.
Well, I hadn't figured out how I was going to post my announcement before another post-worthy announcement came along. As often happens in our family, we have to start our story with "see, what had happened was..."
When Moose and I were in Pisa last month, I saw a cute toddler-sized t-shirt at one of the souvenir stands. The thought occurred to me that someday we'll have grandchildren and it'd be really cool if we bought things for them while we're in Europe...starting with a red t-shirt (suitable for a boy or girl) with a picture of Snoopy and Woodstock trying to straighten the leaning tower with Italian and American writing on it. After debating it the first two days I was there, I could not shake the feeling that I needed to get a t-shirt. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. My thought was that the first grandchild could wear it and pass it along to the others. I planned to post a picture of the shirt on here but accidentally included it in the package I sent to the boys. I've been waiting for Drew to take a pic of the shirt and email it to me so I could include it in my Pisa post and photos.
But apparently I had my ESPN turned on because Drew's girlfriend Ciera is pregnant. She's due late February/early March, so I decided to call the baby Love Bug until/if we find out which variety of grandbaby we're getting. They tried to say I jinxed them by buying that t-shirt, but after doing the math, they were already pregnant when I bought the shirt. Ha! Finally something that can't be blamed on me! LOL
And tonight I got a text from Ryan. Here's how the convo went down:
Ryan: mom
me: Yes?
Ryan: wanna hear something funny?
me: Yep
Ryan: drew's gonna be an uncle
Yes, we are expecting TWO grandbabies in the spring.
My boys have always referred to themselves as 'the first two punks'; after seeing all the adorable girl clothing and shoes (and accessories) in the stores, here's hoping one of those mini-punks is a punkette.
I had formulated a blog post in my head that consisted of writing to Love Bug to proclaim my love and excitement over his/her existence. But now I have another love bug to write to/about but I don't have an appropriate nickname for him/her. We used to call the boys Thing 1 and Thing 2 (from the Dr. Seuss books), and Moose suggested calling the babies Thing 1 and 2 after their dads, but since Thing 2 is having Grand Thing 1, and Thing 1 is having Grand Thing 2, I think that'd be too confusing.
But what has been decided are our grandparent names. He's Papa Moose and I'm GeeGee. Or should I spell it GG? Or GiGi? Anyway, there you have it. Our babies are having babies. And although their circumstances aren't ideal, we are very excited about these precious gifts.
my never-ending battle
My 411
- Eva M.
- After struggling to fit into the proverbial round hole, I figured it was more honest to embrace the natural facets of my personality: passion for God and people, off-the-wall logic and a twisted sense of humor.
I'm an Air Force wife and former homeschool mom who writes about people and relationships, my faith, and my family. I love my crazy, beautiful, mosaic life...and coffee.